The Things They Say

I've been meaning to write down some of the things Avery says because...well...the things that come out of the mouths of babes. We've got quite the talker, and it's really fun to see what she'll say next. And sometimes really scary to see what she'll say next. Some of these are several months old so they seem like baby talk, but they were still hilarious.

Probably about to ask if she's eating poop.

On getting alone time...
"Mommy, you don't need be here right now."
"Go sit on Marti's couch."

On breakfast...
"I don't want toaster. I want toaster!" (Where toaster equals anything that comes out of the toaster, obviously.)  

On testing out new words...
"You need that, HUH?"
"I fall and trip myself, what am I do?"
"I love to eat candy so much...I need candy...what's candy mean?"

On the plunger in the bathroom...
"What's that mean?"

On Owen...and cupcakes...and all objects...
"Oh no, baby Owen. Oh no baby cupcake! Oh no [insert any other object here forever and ever and ever]."

On Marti...
"Where's Marti? I only lost her; now she's gone."
"It's just the bowl...you don't have to freak out."
"Your hair's like a porcupine, Marti."
"Marti's drinking her privacy."

On toothpaste...
"Ooh, spicy."

On pineapple and other fruits...
"I want some porcupine."
"I need fresh fruit."

On months of the year...
"We have to say bye to March. I learned that at school."

On cheese...
"Mozzaumbrella."

On magazines...
"Mazagine."

Just playing a little "tocar."

On guitars...
"Play the tocar."

On trampolines...
"Bounce-oline."

On busdrivers...
"Screwdriver."

On waffles or Mommy...and outsmarting her parents
Us: Do you want mommy to go get waffles or do you want her to tuck you in?
Avery: Mommy tucks me in, daddy gets waffles.

On Owen saying Avery...
Us: Owen, can you say Avery?
Avery: Owen, can you say puppy? (Every single time.)

Trying to teach Avery to say "I don't like your attitude..."
"I don't like my YouTube."

On violence...
"I'll kick you in your freak head."
(Parental note: A) She was abbreviating freaking (is that better or worse?) and B) Maybe we shouldn't threaten Marti with violence so much? We say it so we don't actually do it!)

On humor...
"Is that poop?"
(Parental note: If you don't want a joke repeated a trillion times, don't laugh. We made the mistake and now poop is the biggest joke ever. She asks if everything is poop, calls everything poop and told the neighbor I made her poop for breakfast. I may not be a chef, but I've never served poop.)