Friday, March 29, 2013

The Things They Say

I've been meaning to write down some of the things Avery says because...well...the things that come out of the mouths of babes. We've got quite the talker, and it's really fun to see what she'll say next. And sometimes really scary to see what she'll say next. Some of these are several months old so they seem like baby talk, but they were still hilarious.

Probably about to ask if she's eating poop.

On getting alone time...
"Mommy, you don't need be here right now."
"Go sit on Marti's couch."

On breakfast...
"I don't want toaster. I want toaster!" (Where toaster equals anything that comes out of the toaster, obviously.)  

On testing out new words...
"You need that, HUH?"
"I fall and trip myself, what am I do?"
"I love to eat candy so much...I need candy...what's candy mean?"

On the plunger in the bathroom...
"What's that mean?"

On Owen...and cupcakes...and all objects...
"Oh no, baby Owen. Oh no baby cupcake! Oh no [insert any other object here forever and ever and ever]."

On Marti...
"Where's Marti? I only lost her; now she's gone."
"It's just the bowl...you don't have to freak out."
"Your hair's like a porcupine, Marti."
"Marti's drinking her privacy."

On toothpaste...
"Ooh, spicy."

On pineapple and other fruits...
"I want some porcupine."
"I need fresh fruit."

On months of the year...
"We have to say bye to March. I learned that at school."

On cheese...
"Mozzaumbrella."

On magazines...
"Mazagine."


Just playing a little "tocar."

On guitars...
"Play the tocar."

On trampolines...
"Bounce-oline."

On busdrivers...
"Screwdriver."

On waffles or Mommy...and outsmarting her parents
Us: Do you want mommy to go get waffles or do you want her to tuck you in?
Avery: Mommy tucks me in, daddy gets waffles.

On Owen saying Avery...
Us: Owen, can you say Avery?
Avery: Owen, can you say puppy? (Every single time.)

Trying to teach Avery to say "I don't like your attitude..."
"I don't like my YouTube."

On violence...
"I'll kick you in your freak head."
(Parental note: A) She was abbreviating freaking (is that better or worse?) and B) Maybe we shouldn't threaten Marti with violence so much? We say it so we don't actually do it!)

On humor...
"Is that poop?"
(Parental note: If you don't want a joke repeated a trillion times, don't laugh. We made the mistake and now poop is the biggest joke ever. She asks if everything is poop, calls everything poop and told the neighbor I made her poop for breakfast. I may not be a chef, but I've never served poop.)

Monday, March 25, 2013

Speed Demon

One of the best things about being a parent is seeing the world through your kids' eyes. You also get to act like a kid again. Over Christmas (yes, the one that was several months ago) we went to the mall. We skipped the Santa line and rode the train instead. Avery's eyes lit up on the train, so much that my face hurt from smiling as we went around and around the tiny track. Then, near the train, there was another family fun option. Ever ridden a motorized stuffed animal? If not, you're missing out.

These things are seriously stuffed animals that you can drive around. No track, no limits. The open road, baby. It was hilarious. I will say that I felt like we were going much faster than we were. Alan and Owen were sitting on a bench, and Avery circled them over and over. She was pretty determined to run into something, so I was always steering her away from people and walls.

 

Pretty much the best $5 I've ever spent.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Happy Birthday, Owen!

So yes, it is a couple of days past Owen's birthday. Do I get a pass because he was born 5 weeks early? Do I get a pass because I'm in the midst of my busiest year ever?

Ooh, cake.
So Owen's birthday was a couple of days ago, or shall I call it Avery's Second Christmas? Because all of the presents? She pretty much opened. There was no stopping her, she was like a ravenous present beast. But she is sharing his presents with him, sort of, so there's that.
Owen continues to be adorable and good-natured. He's crawling up a storm and decided one day that stairs were made for climbing, so climb he does. And of course, Avery likes to encourage it, so if he even thinks about the stairs somewhere in his baby brain, never mind if he's actually going that direction, Avery is heading there: "Owen's going to the stairs!" as she climbs up herself and encourages him to follow. One day I had to throw a diaper away and I told Avery to yell if he got to the stairs. I know he's a speedy little demon, so I literally ran to perform the diaper task. Avery yelled alright, but by the time I got there the little guy was on the third stair. You'd think we'd get a baby gate or something. 

Yes, that is drool on my chin. I still drool less than my sister.

Like Avery, Owen loved the inchworm mode of transportation for a long time, but at long last he turned it into a real crawl. He totally blew the theory that the second child does everything faster...he took longer than Avery did by a few days. For the longest time he would crawl a foot, army crawl, do a downward dog, and a few belly flops to get to where he wanted to go. And as inefficient as that sounds and was, he got to be quite fast. He reminded me of a little zombie, dragging his way to his next victim. Now he's truly crawling like he's been doing it his whole life, like it's no big deal, finding his next victim with ease. His victims are always The Dangerous Thing in the Room. I don't even know how it's possible that in a room full of toys, babies will find the one thing that they shouldn't, like a long piece of thread and then shove it hurriedly into their little mouths.



Now he's graduated to pulling himself up on everything and taking a few steps along the couch, so he'll be cruising on land before long. He just has to figure out how to get his butt back down to the ground.


He's also starting to show more of his little personality, and while he's laid back, he's forming opinions and preferences, oh yes. He loves the bath, and forces me to alligator wrestle him to bathe him. I usually throw him and Aves in together, so I try to minimize his kicking to minimize his splashing Avery in the face, which is impossible, so all three of us end up drenched. He loves it, and kicks madly before rolling over and splashing a few times and then getting an eye, ear and mouth full of water. Drives me bonkers, but he's so pleased with the whole experience.
Owen hits his birthday party limit.
The new crawling experience means that his sleep gets interrupted by crawling practice. Every time I go in his room in the night, which is often, I know exactly where his little head will be. It's like he's got an internal compass, because even in the pitch dark of night, he angles himself directly toward the door, no matter which way I put him down. And boy howdy, the non-sleep. With illness, I'll just say that the sleep got way off track. My awesome sleeper turned into an overnight nightmare only worse because a nightmare means you're actually SLEEPING, which we weren't. So for his birthday, after his 12-month well-baby visit that declared him ear-infection free, he got a little dose of crying. As opposed as I am to the ignore-the-crying baby philosophy, it did earn me one of the best nights I've had in months. I only got up three times! It's sad that that's truly a good--nay, amazing--night of sleep.

Making sure mama's following.

He loves his big sister, although he fears her. Which is necessary. So at least he's got some good survival instincts. He's got the cutest little face scrunch.


He's saying mama and dada and, of course, dog. I can see the little lights turning on. This is when it really starts to get fun.


The face that makes up for the lack of sleep.