Holy Hotness

Ok, summer. You can go away now.

I feel silly even complaining. I mean, I live in Northern California. On the eighth day, after God rested, I'm pretty sure He said, "Oh, and P.S.: Northern California, may you have perfect weather year round."

But as I sit here with a bead of sweat rolling down my temple, I have to think that maybe it's gotten a tad warmer than He planned.

I know, I know. It's nothing like the heat of Kansas. Not even comparable really. On these hot days when it hits 92 degrees, you can go outside and the sweat takes a minute or two to collect on your forehead, unlike Kansas where the sweat pools on your back before you even step outside.

Here's the difference:

Kansas has air conditioning. And because the weather is soooo allegedly perfect out here, a lot of apartments and houses don't have A/C.

Three fans don't really make much of a difference. And because our apartment is situated as it is, getting much of a cross-breeze going is nearly impossible. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't work at home. I could avoid the mid-day heat baking the front window, right where my desk is. If it's under 90 degrees, I can tolerate it. But once the 90 threshold is crossed, God help anyone who crosses my path. I get angry. Thank goodness there was only a day or two that maxed out over 100, because I honestly thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. I'm not kidding. Just ask Alan. He was the one who had to pick up the pieces of a melted Erin when he got home that night.

And Poor little Marti. When her survival instincts kick in, which is rare, I will sometimes find her laying in the bathroom on the cool tile, the only place in the apartment where it's cool. I'm not going to lie: I've spent several hours this summer, with Marti, cooped up in the bathroom, hunkering down against our version of severe weather. It's almost funny, except that it's miserable and there's no escape.

I have also flipped my lid a couple of times because weather.com can't get it right, ever. They're consistently about 10 degrees off for Menlo Park. And if I'm going to be miserable, I like to at least know how miserable I should be.

I was going through deleting old emails and came across several angry weather-related ones I sent to Alan.

Date: May 16
Time: 2:30
Message: I effing hate weather.com. It's been stuck at 88 degrees all day, which I knew was wrong, and now it's 98. Thanks, WEATHER, I could have told you that.

I want to kill both the messenger and the message. And apparently it's supposed to drop 6 degrees here in about 30 minutes. LIKELY STORY.

Date: August 28
Time: 2:48
Message: It's 100 degrees. AWESOME!!!!!

Date: August 28
Time: 3:05
Message: Have I said how much I hate Weather.com for Menlo Park? It's 86 right now, apparently, but supposed to jump up to 98 by 4 pm. SO AMAZING.

I'm leaving the computer. Too angry. If you need me call.


You can definitely tell what time of day is the worst for me. Last summer there were about three of these miserable days. This year, there have probably been a total of 15. It's supposed to be cooling down. But I still have to make it through tomorrow.