The Terrible Awful

Where did January go? Seriously. I don't even know. One minute it turned into January, then the entire family got sick and stayed sick and got better for a millisecond, got sick again, and now all of a sudden it's February.

Now, I know sick kids and viruses and vomiting aren't unique to me. I know all parents have been there and done that. But seriously? I had no idea. NO IDEA.

Avery's face says it all.

So it was a totally normal Wednesday. We had spaghetti for dinner. I told Alan to go to the gym after I put Owen down for the night, so I was getting Avery all ready for bed on my own. She got in bed and all of a sudden had to use the bathroom--the big potty, she specified. Not one to stand in the way of a potential potty break, we headed in. Then she started drooling ridiculous amounts. And before I knew it, she was vomiting and I was catching it with the toilet paper in my hand. I then grabbed her potty chair and she continued to heave into it.

Here's where I thought I was a total bad-ass for keeping all of the vomit contained.

So then Avery went to bed and I hear what I can only describe as a wet cough. And I knew. So I go in and there are pajamas that need changing and a kid that needs bathing and sheets that need changing and Alan is still not home. A couple of days later we hit up the doctor, who congratulates us on our ear infection. So we're sitting on the couch, Alan having gone to get her meds, and Avery says she puked. I didn't see puke anywhere...until it started shooting out of her face. It landed directly on Owen's back; he was crawling around on the floor. So nice job protecting the carpet, buddy. (Remember Disney World? I mean it.) My first thought? Alan somehow managing to skip puke No. 2.

Taking Mr. Head's temperature.

We proceed to have two full weeks of Avery not eating, feverish kids, ear infections and hell. No really, it was hell. I don't know how I survived it.  Any time it would appear that Avery was making a recovery, she'd be awful by the afternoon again. Turned out her first meds for her ears weren't strong enough, so she needed new antibiotics. Then we headed into the doctor for Owen, because he looked like the sickest sicko in all of the land. Ear infection for him too.

The saddest little sicko.

I got hit with it about the same time Owen was getting a little better, and I realized quickly why Avery didn't eat for a week and why she was content lying on the couch watching college basketball for two hours. I couldn't move. I had chills and a fever and aches and my face felt like it was smuggling a bowling ball I don't even know how a bowling ball could fit up there but it was there somewhere. I hit up the doctor when I finally came down with pink eye or some such nonsense that rendered my eye useless. A look in my ears also got me an antibiotic for an ear infection. And Alan? He made four for four ear infections in the house. IS THAT NOT RIDICULOUS?

Round 1 of the nonsense. Poor buddy.

It was* terrible awful.

We spent at least $200 on doctor visits and medications and chicken noodle soup.

So we were on the mend. But before I could publish this, Owen started vomiting like clockwork each night after dinner, starting Wednesday. Followed by me vomiting yesterday. His antibiotics for his ear aren't working either. I know. It sounds like a joke. It's not. It's terrible awful. Send saltines.

*is, still