The Unemployment Line

You know how infuriating it is to be on hold listening to elevator music for hours? Yeah, it's a nightmare. You know what's worse? Calling the unemployment office over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and not getting hold of anyone.

I started with New Jersey because that's where I live. Their unemployment website leaves a bit to be desired, but after calling for days to no avail, I eventually found a bit of information telling me to call California because I just relocated to New Jersey. Thinking California might have its act together, I got online to find out more info. They're so nice that they let you file online. Quick! Easy! Unless you have just moved out of state, in which case you're special and need to call. So I call. And call. And call. This is Wednesday, what they report to be their slow day. Each time I call, I get a "We're currently getting more calls than we can answer...try again later, sucker" message. Then, about one in 20 times, I'd get a "Welcome...." Yay! Something different! This surely must mean success is imminent!

Ha! No! They just waste more of your time, making you push buttons until you again get a "Gotcha! We're still unable to take your call!" message. You don't even get to be put on hold, which at least makes you think your call will be answered by the next available representative. You get a big fat "click" and you're done. Oh, but they do keep directing you to the unemployment website, which I can't use, which makes me want to punch them in their big fat nose.

After doing this at least 100 times, I'm getting to the point of it ruining my day. I'm using my most colorful language when describing my situation to Alan and my mom. Lots and lots of sailor language. Seriously...why not HIRE SOME STAFF and kill two birds with one stone?!*

I finally get so frustrated that I look online to find out if other people have had this problem. Lo and behold, I'm not the only jobless Joe to be having the problem. One tip said to enter "130" as soon as you hear the "welcome" message. Numerous commenters attested to the effectiveness of "130."

So I give 130 a shot. Lo and behold, after getting to the "Welcome..." message a couple of times, I actually get through to someone. A human! Alan had to stop me from making out with the phone. I don't know if it was 130 that worked, or just the mere fact that it was late in the day and the volume was probably decreasing as people either got through or killed themselves trying, but my day came back from ruin.

Then, of course, because I had moved, I was deemed "special" and had to wait for a call back. But just getting through to a human gave me hope that there were people working the lines. And luckily Barbara, my bestest buddy at the unemployment office, DID call me back. And helped me. And is my hero forever and ever, amen.

Now I can take "Unemploy" out of the number 3 spot in my speed dial.**

*Probably because California is broke.
**That spot? Used to be my work/home number. Ha!