Clearing Out the Inbox

My email inbox has been out of control since August 7. I gave birth to a little cutie pie, spent almost a week at the hospital and away from the computer, and it's been tough to recover. Even though I see new emails on my BlackBerry, I don't always have two free thumbs to respond. So the email continues to pile up. It's like one step forward when I delete an email and one step back when it's replaced by a new one.

I've finally gotten it down to 17 new emails, and in going through the inbox, came across this one, dated July 30, 2010.

An email to Nikki and Erika, responding to the question "How are you feeling?"

So yeah, 34 weeks today. I'm up every hour or so at night either maneuvering into a different sleep position (with a Snoogle that I won. It's awesome.) or peeing. Our house is still chaos...Alan's planning to tile the kitchen floor...stresses me out but I'm trying to be zen about it. My maternity pants don't even really fit any more, so that's very annoying. And tight. So I'm rotating like three dresses and a skirt. YAWN. My feet also started to swell towards the end of the day and for some reason that is very depressing--like you need a further reminder that you have no control over your body any more. Oh, and Bethenny Getting Married had her baby at 35 weeks so now I'm freaking out that I'm so not ready if the baby makes an early appearance. Not likely, I know, but I can't be rationalized with. I'm also sick of being the clumsiest human alive and banging my shins or breaking dishes every other minute. See the can of worms you open up when you ask how I am?

Oh, Erin of July 30. You should be freaking out. Very much indeed.

The Boss

She says "milk," and I say, "How much?" I couldn't have a cuter boss.

Juggling

Fact: You can't fully appreciate your parents until you have kids of your own. Then you see both how much they've loved you all this time and how much work they've done to take care of you. Love is a wonderful thing, and it's not only enough to make the work worthwhile, but it also makes you crazy enough to want to do it again. At some point.

Now that Avery is three months old, I can't help but think that many moms would be back to work about now. Can I just say, I have no idea how they do it. We're still up at least a couple of times during the night, and while there is almost no crying now and I haven't had to turn on the infomercials in more than a month, there is still enough exhaustion that I've fallen asleep in the glider. For an hour or more. Granted, I do work, but thankfully I can do my writing and editing when it's convenient for me, at home. I've never been afraid to work hard (Ken Berry at 10! Child labor, anyone?), but taking care of an infant full time is by far the toughest job I've ever had. Babies might sleep for 14 hours a day, but Avery sleeps 10 minutes here and an hour there...and so far, not predictably. I'm also busy trying to keep us from getting buried alive by laundry. And making dinner, which I'm proud to report I'm doing regularly again, finally. And, on occasion, showering, which I've done with one leg out of the shower to keep bouncing Avery in her bouncer.

So sometimes I can't respond to emails. Or voice mails. Sometimes I get interrupted putting on shoes. I've been wearing only one shoe for about an hour now.


Also keeping me busy? Leaves. Fall out here is absolutely gorgeous. So beautiful that it almost makes up for some of the New Jersey nastiness. Here is the view from our front porch on Sunday, midway through raking our front yard.

This was today, after a storm blew threw last night. I had to laugh at the few remaining leaves struggling to hang on to the tree.

And because I know you people don't visit to get a leaf report: Avery is now babbling at us like crazy, and we've also started earning huge gummy grins regularly. Sometimes she looks at us like we're being doofuses, but sometimes those doofuses are funny! Unfortunately, she knows when I'm trying to capture giggles and grins, and she wants to have the upper hand and so refuses to give me what I want. So smart already.

Have a Gourd Halloween!

Although I had several good ideas for Avery's Halloween costume this year, I really wanted to coordinate her costume with Marti's. I originally bought Marti a pirate costume, and surprisingly found one for Avery as well, but decided that a pirate was maybe a little too hardcore for Baby's First Halloween.

So I decided to go with the quintessential Halloween costume for both girls: The jack-o'-lantern.


Marti, patient as always.


Avery, not as patient.



Avery mounts her trusty Marti steed.


Marti: I gonna kill you in your sleep.


Our little pumpkin patch.


Patience runs thin.



Happy Halloween, everyone!

For past Halloween fun:
Marti the Moose
Marti the Bee
Marti the Rooster

So Many Possibilities

With Halloween just days away, we're exploring costume ideas. Although Avery's hair isn't as plentiful as it was when she was born (or maybe her head's just bigger), it still gives us a lot of options.

Mad Scientist/One Who Stuck Her Finger in a Light Socket



Punk Rocker with a Mohawk



Justin Timberlake



Old Man/Super Sleek Posh Spice


Donald Trump


Kate Gosselin


Avery slept through our entire photo session. But Marti didn't, and she was ready to take over the comfy photo spot after we were done. I think she wanted to remind me not to forget about her Halloween costume this year. Don't worry, Marti. I won't.

The Baby Ate My Brain

I read that during pregnancy, your brain cells actually shrink. They're reportedly supposed to plump back up a few months after delivery. Mine apparently are taking their time with the plumping. So while my pregnancy-induced clumsiness has improved immensely, I'm sometimes a raging moron. Add the non-plumped-back-up brain cells to a lack of sleep and I am what you get. A few highlights.

Example 1. I mailed a check with one amount in numerals and another amount written out. The written part of the check is the legal part (who knew?), so I had to write a separate check to finish the transaction.

Example 2. I mailed our trash bill without a check at all. They returned it and kindly asked for their money.

Example 3. Jenn and I were going back and forth via email. We're always making acronyms and explaining them, thus not actually saving any time at all until they catch on. One of our favorites is SLAP for "Sounds like a plan!" The other day I created a clever new one, EARTO, which was supposed to mean "Edited and ready to go!" Except for the whole part where I substituted an O for what should have been a G.

So these are the minor goofs I've been doing on a daily basis. But this one takes the cake:

Alan came down to the living room after changing out of a sour-milky spit-up shirt to join me on the couch.

"Where's the baby?" I asked.

Cue Alan's blank stare. "The baby?" he said.

"WHERE IS AVERY?"

Alan looks at me like the moron that I am. I look down. Oh yeah. She's on my lap. Eating. From my breast.

Seriously. The baby ate my brain.

But isn't she cute as the freaking dickens?

That Was Fast

It's hard to believe that five years ago, I was in a pretty dress, in a pretty chapel, about to get married. How is it possible that it's been five years? And how is it possible that it's been so easy?






I won't embarrass Alan by getting too sentimental here, but I just want to say that I'm a lucky girl. I've had a great five years and look forward to 60 more.

And an update on the little girl. She had her two-month appointment today. She's shot from the 10th percentile for her birth weight to the 75th, weighing in at 11 pounds, 7 ounces! She took her shots like a champ. And she's super cute, adorable, hilarious. Obvs!