Kicking Ass and Taking Names

Owen is almost four months old now. It's gone by in the blink of an eye, truly. He's quite the easy baby now that I can put him down throughout the day without him doing the crying version of calling the cops on me. He's much more visually stimulated than Avery ever was (typical male). He notices his mobile and the frog in his bouncer like Avery never did. And he flirts with them, giggling, grinning and cooing like crazy.



In the sleep department, he's kicking all sorts of ass and taking so many names. He started going down close to Avery's bedtime and will sleep until 2 a.m. most nights. And has hit 4 a.m. several times. Unreal. As you know, Avery didn't achieve this type of sleep until, well, she sleeps through most nights, but I'll just say that even now we've had nights when Owen came out the sleep victor. He's super duper adorable, and if we're not careful he's going to have us convinced a third would be no problem. He reminds me a little of Gene Hackman. Is plumping up just like Avery did, so he's got adorable little cheeks and rolls to squeeze.


We made it into the city, so he's already learning how to navigate subways and curse out the homeless Elmos. Even in his limited Sesame Street experience he knows the difference between the real thing and the imposters.


He also had a notable diaper blowout on the Brooklyn Bridge, whole outfit change and all. He's really noticing all of us and follows us around the room. He seems especially interested in Avery's shenanigans, as he should be because they are the more interesting shenanigans.



That girl. Her vocabulary astounds me. Move ottoman. Daddy home. I carry you. (Translation: carry me.) Book uh heavy (when she's trying to drag a stack of books around the house). Front door. Crazy puppy. Doorbell. Jump in pool. I kiss it. Be careful. Be right back.


She's fascinated with and terrified of overhead pipes downstairs. Like a moron, instead of ignoring it, I pointed out additional pipes for her to fear. Good job. Now "pipes" are regularly mentioned. Around this time she also developed a fear of her baby monitor camera, so much so that we had to hide it so we can at least get the sound. She also started pointing out the smoke alarm, and we told her they keep us safe. So now she goes around, pointing them out with concern, saying "safe, safe."


She's also memorizing books now, and it's insane how quickly she can start putting phrases with the correct pages. However, I am not saying she's a genius or anything because she's still unable to swallow her saliva and just today she went around licking the couch and ottoman, getting loads of dog hair in her incessantly drooly chin. So, you know, she's a genius in certain areas.

22 Months

Our dear little Avery is now 22 months old. She is sweet, smart and ever more opinionated as the days tick by. She's asserting her independence right on schedule. This means changing her mind immediately after making her mind up, taking off clothing and diapers from waist down every morning and throwing them out of her crib, and blatantly disobeying kind requests from Mommy. It also means not sitting still for photo shoots, making Mommy work really hard for decent photos, and destroying cute pigtail 'dos.

I know I say she's smart, but when you see where your kids start from, it's amazing to see how quickly they learn. She's got at least a million words in her vocabulary. Is that an exaggeration? Peacock. Piece of pizza. Hummus. Trash. Cockadoodledoo. I want cheese. I'm coming. Carry. Help. iPad. Sheep-eep. (Her sleep sheep; cutest thing she says.) We were at the zoo and she called the sea lions "seals"...which is pretty impressive considering that...what is the difference?

She thanks the babysitter without being prompted. When prompted to smile, however, she won't. Doesn't want to sit still. So I started asking her to show her teeth, and it kind of works.

We had our first curse word repeated back to us. She will repeat anything and everything we say, so we have to watch it. She also mimics everything I do, so she'll wipe and diaper her dollies and Elmo. Brush her teeth how I do. Put on my shoes and walk around in them. 

She counted to 10 like a month ago, but now refuses to go past two, although she recognizes most numbers. And then out of nowhere she'll say thirteen, fourteen, fifteen. She recognizes tons of letters and can sing most of the alphabet. When she gets lost and doesn't know what's next, she'll just say "bike" and start over or carry on as if "bike" is a widely known and respected letter. For awhile it was "L-M-N-O-Bike."

She's also either color blind, really stubborn or just doesn't get colors yet. Everything is still "ye-beh-bow." It's impressive when you're asking about the color of a banana; not so when you're asking about anything else. In true Avery style, she'll likely wait until she knows colors like chartreuse and apricot before she starts whipping them out.

 I'll say my colors when I say my colors, MOM. (Does everyone else see attitude in these eyes? It's not my imagination, right?)

She adorably sings Wheels on the Bus and If You're Happy and You Know It. She's been in a Mommy phase recently, which makes Alan's time with her at bath and bedtime a total screamy blast. It always makes me laugh when she wants me so bad at bedtime. I'm like, so stop being a little jerk between 4 and 6 p.m.

I know! I look totally innocent! I don't know what my mom is talking about with this "jerk" stuff!

She's getting much better about Owen. She almost never gets impatient when my attention is diverted. And almost never takes her frustrations out on him anymore. I can just taste how fun it's going to be when he's a little bigger.

This sweet girl. She sometimes makes my head explode and always makes my heart hurt. Which means she's doing her job as a toddler just perfectly.

The Lost Art

So I've been a little blog negligent, not because of a lack of blog fodder. Trust, there is plenty of that around here. But I wrote a blog post in a draft email to myself on my BlackBerry and then, in clearing out over 100 emails en masse, deleted the draft.

To say I was deflated is an understatement. I cried. I lit-ruhlly cried. I'm sure the crying has nothing to do with a lack of sleep or my being crazy. But you guys, it was super funny (of course) and had all kinds of metaphors comparing Avery to weather. The violent, crazy kind of weather. Plus, it took me days to have the time to slowly cobble the post together during times I was feeding Owen and Avery was napping. (And it's taken me just as many days to put this one together the same way.) Because as you'll see in the first video, getting anything accomplished when both are awake is unlikely.

 My lap. And yes, Marti is burrowing.

We're adjusting to being a house of four and a Marti. Things can get crazy, like when Owen is crying, Avery decides to test out her scream while intermittently crying, Marti is barking, my shirt is half off, my nose is running and the toilet starts making an obnoxious high-pitched whining noise. Here's an 8-second sample of my days:



Looks fun, right? It actually is fun, and surprisingly, there are moments of calm between bouts of chaos. Avery is adjusting to big sisterhood. It's interesting that she got the big sister title right as she was hitting the Show My Independence Stage. The "I'm having trouble controlling MY EMOTIONS" phase. She will have moments when she's a holy terror and I think I'd be less afraid of staring down the barrel of a gun. Like when I was at the library and I started seeing little flashes of the fits she's thrown at home. Luckily this time, she only laid on the ground, refusing to walk, listen or cooperate. At home sometimes she'll just sca-ream for fun, so I was glad she didn't break out her vocals at the library. She's thrown herself violently to the ground several times, but after hitting her head twice she learned that the point is to get to the ground to actively tantrum, so she now charts a much safer and slower journey to get there. It's not the drama she hopes for, but it's the comedy her parents enjoy.

Luckily for us, these bouts of The Crazy are mixed with The Sweet and The Adorable and The Smart and The Funny.

The sweet? She'll come up and say "hug" to get hugs. She'll say please, thank you and "Bless you, Owen." She'll shove a pacifier in Owen's face. (Or rip it out, but whatever.) And give him extra jammies. And bounce him. Hard. Sometimes it works.



The adorable? She'll feed her dolly and take great pains to wrap her in a blanket.



The smart? Out of almost nowhere, she counted Alan's fingers to five and shortly after went to 10. And she started singing the ABCs and a song I made up for her. She's also reading which is a mix of The Adorable and The Smart. Smorable? She gestures, which is a total mommy move; I gesture a lot and am quite expressive if you've never noticed.



As for Owen, he's good. Really freaking adorable, actually. He's stopped screaming bloody murder for every diaper change; now it's just screaming bloody murder when I put him down. And boy, does he like to be held nonstop, which is great for the heart but not for the to-do list. I stopped even trying to get anything done during the day, as I even struggle to keep up the house with the two needy humans. I swear, I'm often better off if I accept the state of the house, as Avery destroys and unloads anything and everything if my attention is diverted even for a second. I've enlisted help, a sitter to come in twice a week to allow me to get a few work things done. Unlike some of the help we've gotten through Alan's work program, she showed up almost on time and is a normal human. I hope she keeps coming back.

But how could these two scare you away? (Just don't show her that first video...)

More to come soon, I swear. I will have two hands again some day.

Blessed

What do you say when Owen sneezes?

You Fools

Fools! Checking my mommy's blog. Like I let her have any time to blog!

Sometimes, instead of being innocent like this, I scream bloody murder just for fun. It gets me lots of milk and snuggles. Success!

Week One with Two

The first week with two kids under 20 months both eased me into double parenting and threw me into the pack of two wolves. I say it eased me in because I wasn't at home a lot of the time, so Alan and his mom did most of the Avery duty while I was at the hospital. And I say threw me into the pack of wolves because I got a good glimpse into the fun I'm in for.

Alan and his mom came up to visit at the hospital, bringing Avery to see me. I was in bed taking it easy but kept Avery with me, thinking I could handle her while they went to visit Owen. Well, I could have handled her just fine. We were happily watching Elmo videos on my iPad. But I couldn't handle the projectile vomiting everywhere.

Moments before projectiling all over me. At least she spared my iPad.

I first heard her cough. And I thought she was just gagging on a bit of saliva. In fact, I thought it was just a fluke puke until she threw up again the next day. But as we were sitting there, her cough turned into barf. All over me. All over her. All over the bed. All over the floor. I didn't know what to attend to first. I had nothing to clean with, a crying toddler and just...vomit. I called the NICU and told them to send Alan back to the room. I called the nurses and told them to send something to clean with. I took Avery's most offensive articles of clothing—her shoes and pants—off.

The nurses were great. They called in backup to clean and moved us to the room next door so we wouldn't have to sit (and eat) in a cloud of vomit smell. And I earned my Mom card by fashioning a pair of pants for Avery out of one of my shirts.

Poor thing.

Then? After another day of vomit, the Other End started having issues. And then she went from the runs to the...Full Stops. Poor thing couldn't get anything moving and would just stand, hug a loved one and cry while she tried to go. One night, I was sitting on the bathroom floor hugging her. Owen in my lap. Left boob out. Avery crying and crying because it hurt. I could have called for backup, but it just seemed like a mommy moment that was a rite of passage.

Two will be tough. Two kiddos with different needs at the same time. There will be days, I'm sure, where we'll all three be crying. But where's the fun without a little chaos? And what on earth would I write about without them?

Attention Divided, Love Multiplied

When I got pregnant with Owen, I seriously wondered how I could love another child as much as I love Avery. People always say that your heart makes room for all the kiddos after your first, but what they don't tell you is that not only do you love the second insane amounts, but your love for your first grows too. I didn't really think I could love Avery more, but I do.

Avery has been a trooper during the recent upheaval in our steady routine. I was away at the hospital quite a bit, she came down with a stomach bug and a new tiny but demanding member of the family arrived. She's taken it all in stride though and thanks to grandmotherly distractions, I don't think she's noticed that I'm busy with another little one.

We visited Owen in the NICU, where Avery met her brother for the first time. She immediately called him a dolly and reached down to touch him.

I'm not blocking his boy parts, my hand is just in the way.

Arriving home with Owen was one of the best days ever. It's such a relief to finally get a clean bill of health, and it's nice to get back to the comforts of home. It's especially nice to have both of your kiddos under one roof.

We walked in the door with the car seat and I have an image of Avery in my head that will forever bring tears to my eyes. Alan took the car seat around to the front of the couch and Avery followed him, clapping her hands with excitement. Excitement to see her brother. She peeked in to see him with the most innocent curiosity.


She's been really good with him, even though she's not always careful so we have to be careful for her. She's taken to the pacifier 19 months too late and gnaws on it like a teether. She grabs bottles and takes them to Owen. She's curious about his hands and feet, points out his eyes, nose and ears and gives him lots of kisses. She holds him. She loses interest quickly, but while he's in her arms you can tell she thinks he's something special.

Ever ready with the middle finger.

The baby sleeps a lot, but she's always wondering where he is. Today I forgot to close the gate to the office and Owen was in his bassinet on the floor. I walked in to find Avery carefully perched inside, at his feet, studying him.


I loved my time with Avery as an only child. But I don't think I'll miss it. Because seeing her as a big sister to a sweet little brother is like getting even more of the best gift.

If you turn your monitor upside down, you'll see she's grinning ear to ear.