Happy Halloween!

It has been decided that there is nothing cuter than a preschool Halloween program. Look for the Dalmatian.

Hold the Sauce

Whenever Alan and I go "back home" to visit, we overdose on Mexican food. In New Jersey, or at least our immediate vicinity, you just cannot get good Mexican food. And just fuggedabout getting a margarita to go along with it; many restaurants are BYOB, which is cool for Italian restaurants and wine, but not so cool when you want a 'rita, on the rocks, with salt.

I ordered a margarita when we were in Top City. A margarita that I'd been pining for, for like, ever. I didn't get my drink because I was without a driver's license and I totally look 20, but I did get a lecture about government spying, 1984, Snowden and "Are you watching TV....or is it watching you?" It would have been a better conversation had I been tipsy, but it was interesting nonetheless.

So seeing as how we never eat Mexican food around here ---

Time out: Seriously, one of the passable restaurants has an hour-long wait any time we ever go near it, even at 4 in the afternoon. Let me use my Spanish: Two kids + hour wait = no bueno. Another serviceable option is in an area so questionable Alan said I was never allowed to go there by myself. And our worst experience was when we went to a "Mexican" restaurant attached to a hotel. And they served MARINARA SAUCE passing as salsa. For shame.

--- Owen hadn't really been exposed to a whole lot of salsa. He knew exactly what to do with it, however, and proceeded to dip chips in it until he decided it would be more fun to splash in it with his whole hand. That left me no choice but to take away his salsa and ensure a tantrum, which got him a ticket right outside the restaurant and me a shirt with salsa handprints all over it.

Thinking he'd mature in a day, we went to another Mexican restaurant for lunch the next day. We made the mistake of letting the salsa get in his line of sight. He was like Cookie Monster: ME WANT SALSA. Then he'd eat it, want to splash in it because SO GOOD, and then he'd freak out when he wasn't allowed to act like a heathen. Even Owen knows that the marinara and Jersey salsas just aren't cutting it in comparison.

So we get home and all of a sudden Owen is a sauce guy. He always pitches a fit when he sees my dinner. It can be (and usually is) the exact same thing he's eating, only bigger portions and bigger pieces. But if he sees I have a sauce he doesn't have? You better get him his sauce. I had A1 tonight with my steak, so he had to have some too. As did Avery.

Avery has been watching Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood, and in it, they sing a song that goes "Grown-ups come back." That's basically it but here's the song online. You don't have to worry about it getting stuck in your head because Avery's version is way better.



Love how Owen is also musical in the background. Daily, I crack up at these two.

Blowing Kisses, Eating Peas

Owen is gaining skills like a champ.

He can blow a kiss.



Or he can "blow a kiss," which is a slobbery, open-mouthed version.




And he can get a pea from plate to mouth in a couple of different ways.



And he can also walk as of a few weeks ago. It is life-changing for all of us, and my arms thank him.

School's Out for Summer

Things are pretty awesome right now, and not just because I'm eating an inappropriately sized slice of lemon meringue pie. The first edited draft of our 108,000-word book has been sent off.* I yanked the kids out of daycare. So, not only have the many, many plagues** left the building, finally, but I've got my kids back with me full time. I seriously just could not deal with this any more:

And as crazy as they can make me (just yesterday, as they were both screaming simultaneously for no apparent reason, I found myself yelling, "CAN WE PLEASE STOP YELLING!?"), I'm so, so glad I can be home with their crazy selves. Besides, Owen has dropped down to one nap and I don't think anything has improved our quality of life this much since we got a mini van. IT IS LIFE-CHANGING. And deserving of all caps. Because now instead of book-ending Avery's nap with his naps and being a prisoner to the nap schedule, the two kids nap at the same time. It is at least an hour of quiet awesomness, usually an hour and a half, and sometimes more than two hours. I don't get to enjoy mindless TV or anything, but at least I get some work done.

Now that I'm not watching the neighbor twins any more either, it's like summer. We've got free time in the mornings and the afternoons. We can go places because we aren't foaming at the mouth and don't look like sickly beasts. We can go on walks around the block and to the park.

Owen veers into the grass a lot.

Also life-changing? The car cart.

Grocery shopping is now an EVENT.

Thank you to the corporate grocery geniuses who thought, "Hey....if we make kids happy, moms can spend money." Because Avery gets giddy-excited for the car cart, Owen loves it, they're content for at least half an hour, Owen can try to steal candy bars in the checkout lane, and I can actually concentrate on my grocery list rather than speeding around like a contestant on Supermarket Sweep. And though it's a bit unwieldy, I don't think I will ever shop without it again.

Owen, bless his little heart, is getting hilarious with his walking. Or rather, with his refusal. He'll stand on his own a bit, but isn't really interested in showing off his balance. He's taken three or four steps several times, but just isn't that into testing the walking waters. He'll go limp if he's not in the mood to try, so he'll just crumple to his crawl position. He instead scurries like the fastest bug to get everywhere. So when we're at the park, it means a lot of this:

Planking. All the cool kids do it.

It means seriously grubby hands and knees now that we're outside a lot in shorts.

You love me even when I'm grubby.

It means my arms are getting wiped out daily. But even though walking is still in the future, he's gaining in other areas. For instance, he recently learned to identify his nose.

He's also added "car" to his vocab, he'll wave and say hi, bye and night-night. He understands every word I say, I swear. He knows when he's not supposed to do something; he'll look at you as he's doing it with a little grin. And he's so sweet that he usually stops doing it instead of going through with it. This will change. But it's nice at the moment.

Also noteable? Holy freaking cicadas. The 17-year cicadas are coming out right now, and they are thick. They litter the ground under certain trees, and it makes for a lot of side-stepping on the sidewalks. They're not making noise yet, but seeing the numbers already, I'm sure it's going to be deafening as they get going. And as creeped out as I am about bugs, I'm weirdly fascinated with this phenomenon. I mean, I actually saw one as it was molting. Check out this nod from Mother Nature to Alien:

I mean, excuse me? This happens? (Enlarge at your own risk.)

I'm just praying that neither of my kids puts one in their mouth.

So yes. I'm trying to enjoy a moment of relief. Relief from book, from illnesses, from endless winter. And even if a plague of cicadas has replaced the plague of viruses, it's a small price to pay for all of this:

I think Cabbage Patch needs a safety harness. And maybe clothes.

Happy face.

*Pre-order it! And if you haven't gotten this one by now, what are you waiting for?

**If it hadn't happened to us, I wouldn't believe it was possible for a family to be sick as much as we were. Since January, I've had pink eye twice, three sinus infections, one ear infection, the achy/fever terrible flu, the 24/7 awfulness of stomach flu for three days, bronchitis (undiagnosed but I've had it before and the telltale cough-until-you-practically-puke-all-night-long pretty much had me convinced) and numerous colds in between all of this wonder and delight. How I wrote half a book in this time? I do not know. 

14 Months a Cutie

While I'm busy adding to the list of "Hilarious Things Avery Says," I thought Owen needed an update. His baby book is sadly emptier than Avery's, so I've got to document a few of his milestones somewhere so he knows I at least tried to keep track.

The little guy is great. With rampant sickness in the house (seriously, even now I'm pretty sure I have bronchitis), he actually had to go back in for an ear and weight check a few weeks ago. Ha! A kid with trouble gaining weight? Funny. But he improved so all is well. It's understandably tough to gain weight when you don't eat normal amounts of solids for several weeks. Or when you do, you're barfing it all up, sometimes down the front of your mom's shirt. I get it. I didn't eat much for a month either, so we're both working on putting the lbs back on. It's easier for some of us than others.

Holy sweet face.

Owen's pretty laid back still, and that's the approach he's taking to walking, thus disproving the "the second child does everything faster because he is chasing the older one." He is 14 months today, which is the day Avery started walking. Owen is not even standing on his own. He's perfectly content to speed crawl, cruise around and have me pick him up if he wants up higher.

He spied the camera, a new target.

He does however want to climb...it makes him a little nervous though and he wants supervision. If I mistakenly leave the baby gate to the stairs open, he'll head that direction and go up one or two steps. Then he'll look for me and get all mischievous when he sees me coming and high tail it up the stairs.

I don't need to pay attention when I climb! I'm a Dinosaur Train-watching music table-climbing pro!

He's of course a pro at Mama and Dada, dog, uh-oh and is working on an "A-e" version of Avery. He's babbling a lot, I'm just not able to make much sense of it. He can sign "milk" (which pretty much means "gimme gimme gimme any sort of food"), dog and fan. He does a cute little point and likes to reach out and touch his pointer finger to mine. He does a smash-face kiss, which is pretty much like it sounds: He smashes his face into mine. It makes him very happy.

He absolutely loves Marti. He hugs her and cuddles her. They take over Avery's bed.

Forced snuggles.

 
He was pretty proud of himself when he discovered he could get into Avery's bed.

Beds are for fun, not for sleeping!

I took both kids in for a haircut the other day, Owen's first. Owen was looking a bit like a disheveled old man that had let his hair go too long. Avery loved her experience and was smiling and telling boob jokes from the moment she sat down. (I can't make these things up.) Owen was slightly more apprehensive, but he was still a champ.

I'm a little nervous, I'm not gonna lie.

And now just look at him. With a few snips, he morphed into a big boy.

I'm a distinguished gentleman now. Without a shirt. And with peanut butter on my face.

I keep reminding myself to enjoy this time before he starts walking. Because once they walk, they manage to get into even more trouble. But seriously Owen, mama's arms need a break!

The Things They Say

I've been meaning to write down some of the things Avery says because...well...the things that come out of the mouths of babes. We've got quite the talker, and it's really fun to see what she'll say next. And sometimes really scary to see what she'll say next. Some of these are several months old so they seem like baby talk, but they were still hilarious.

Probably about to ask if she's eating poop.

On getting alone time...
"Mommy, you don't need be here right now."
"Go sit on Marti's couch."

On breakfast...
"I don't want toaster. I want toaster!" (Where toaster equals anything that comes out of the toaster, obviously.)  

On testing out new words...
"You need that, HUH?"
"I fall and trip myself, what am I do?"
"I love to eat candy so much...I need candy...what's candy mean?"

On the plunger in the bathroom...
"What's that mean?"

On Owen...and cupcakes...and all objects...
"Oh no, baby Owen. Oh no baby cupcake! Oh no [insert any other object here forever and ever and ever]."

On Marti...
"Where's Marti? I only lost her; now she's gone."
"It's just the bowl...you don't have to freak out."
"Your hair's like a porcupine, Marti."
"Marti's drinking her privacy."

On toothpaste...
"Ooh, spicy."

On pineapple and other fruits...
"I want some porcupine."
"I need fresh fruit."

On months of the year...
"We have to say bye to March. I learned that at school."

On cheese...
"Mozzaumbrella."

On magazines...
"Mazagine."

Just playing a little "tocar."

On guitars...
"Play the tocar."

On trampolines...
"Bounce-oline."

On busdrivers...
"Screwdriver."

On waffles or Mommy...and outsmarting her parents
Us: Do you want mommy to go get waffles or do you want her to tuck you in?
Avery: Mommy tucks me in, daddy gets waffles.

On Owen saying Avery...
Us: Owen, can you say Avery?
Avery: Owen, can you say puppy? (Every single time.)

Trying to teach Avery to say "I don't like your attitude..."
"I don't like my YouTube."

On violence...
"I'll kick you in your freak head."
(Parental note: A) She was abbreviating freaking (is that better or worse?) and B) Maybe we shouldn't threaten Marti with violence so much? We say it so we don't actually do it!)

On humor...
"Is that poop?"
(Parental note: If you don't want a joke repeated a trillion times, don't laugh. We made the mistake and now poop is the biggest joke ever. She asks if everything is poop, calls everything poop and told the neighbor I made her poop for breakfast. I may not be a chef, but I've never served poop.)

Speed Demon

One of the best things about being a parent is seeing the world through your kids' eyes. You also get to act like a kid again. Over Christmas (yes, the one that was several months ago) we went to the mall. We skipped the Santa line and rode the train instead. Avery's eyes lit up on the train, so much that my face hurt from smiling as we went around and around the tiny track. Then, near the train, there was another family fun option. Ever ridden a motorized stuffed animal? If not, you're missing out.

These things are seriously stuffed animals that you can drive around. No track, no limits. The open road, baby. It was hilarious. I will say that I felt like we were going much faster than we were. Alan and Owen were sitting on a bench, and Avery circled them over and over. She was pretty determined to run into something, so I was always steering her away from people and walls.

 

Pretty much the best $5 I've ever spent.